Slot Bagel Toaster

I visited with my friends the other weekend, and I've been thinking about upgrading their Sunbeam Toaster to the next level.  And, it's all because of bagels.  Really.

I blame YOU super wide toasting nightmare!  (Maybe you should think about laying off the cream cheese for awhile...)

Anyways, I spied a pack of bagels in the pantry while I was in town, and they are SO ANNOYING!  (the bagels mind you, not my friends...)

I'm half awake, stuff my bagel in the devise, turn around to grab some O.J. and a plate.  The next thing I know, I hear the lever pop-up, but alas... NO bagel.

IT GOT STUCK.   ARRRRRGHH!

I ended up grabbing a pair of chopsticks (yes, I said chopsticks) to fish out my stupid bagel (…wooden chopsticks by the way).    My poor appliance choice ended up costing me a mutilated bagel and a bit of bagel heartache.  And, some apologies to my friends for using a few choice words while fighting with it in the wee hours of the morning.

So, I'm looking at a Cuisinart Toaster Bagel WIDE slot or this Hamilton Beach Bagel Toaster to help them out on Global Toaster. 

I just can't be bothered by another botched bagel morning, no matter how much fun my friends had LAUGHING at my morning bagel fiasco.

Yeah, they may seem unassuming... those bagels sitting on the shelf in the bakery aisle right next to the loaves of bread.  (... just to fool you.)

They may seem like they'd be just fine to bring home and heat up in your pink kitchenaid toaster... but it's far more complicated than that.

Those bagels aren't so slim it turns out.  No offense bagels, but you require extra-wide slots... you can't squeeze into those regular slots anymore.  The time has come to move up to the big leagues- and don't make me get a fork involved... again.

Width isn't the only problem, you see.  Bagels are finicky too.  Oh, no.  They can't be toasted properly unless the heat is adjusted for each side of it- the inside slice getting toasted, but not so much on the rounded outside...  talk about HIGH MAINTENANCE.

Yep, those bagels need a Kitchen Aid Toaster Oven or something along those lines.  If you love your bagels, look for the best bagel toaster you can find at Global Toaster.

We have all you need to pamper your bagel properly.

Pre-set toasters. 

Coffee machines can be set the night before to brew our coffee at a pre-set time. 

So, why not?  Why hasn't the feature to pre-set a toaster to heat bagels at a certain time not hit the market yet? 

Would the bagel go stale sitting in the slot overnight?  Maybe. 

But you'll be toasting it anyways, right? 

How difficult could it be to come up with a way to fix that minor glitch? 

If I could have my Hamilton beach bagel toaster automatically heat my bagel at the same time my coffee finishes brewing, life would be complete!  Mornings would be too easy. 

I wouldn't even have to think about preparing anything in the morning.  I'd be out the door and on my commute in seconds.  Someone needs to come up with the next new and improved bagel toaster complete with pre-set toaster timing. 

Isn't it about time?

I saw a great article by Roy Colbert in New Zealand's very own Otago Daily Times awhile back and had to share.  Apparently, he just recently purchased a Tefal Avanti DeLuxe Toaster.  Check out his description of the toaster:

"So, I bought a beautifully-curved, four-slice Tefal Avanti DeLuxe. My wife is correct, it is quite big.  In fact, it is something of a throne among our other bench appliances. Even the Saeco Magic Cappuccino Plus is currently cowering at this new entrant.

There could be a high-powered electrical duel between the two of them when we next go away for a weekend, resulting in us living in a cheap motel waiting for the house insurance money to come through.

But a toaster should be big, because toast is very important.

Toast is far and away my favourite food, by which I mean it is the one food I both couldn't possibly live without, and also the one food I could live on forever at the expense of all else.

So the cognac and coffee crème brulee from Saffron Restaurant in Arrowtown, or indeed, the cappuccino crème brulee from Plato here, may well sustain me for six or eight months, but not for life.

Toast I want and need at all times.

The Tefal monolith now sits Shrek-like across the corner of the bench.  This makes it even more of an imperious throne than its size suggests.  And in this position, it is not only the king of all toasters, it is the earth mother of all toasters, welcoming me to step up and be fed toast until my belly blows my rib cage to bits.

All toasters should send out this message.

Alas, so few of them do.  The monolith can do bagels.  It can do crumpets.  I think it could probably do both bagels and crumpets at the same time as the slots can be made ridiculously wide.  My wife could hide a shoe in there..."

- Roy Colbert.

The Tefal Avanti DeLuxe Toaster - the toaster of all toasters.  REAL men around the world own THIS toaster.  You can get one here.
 

If you're on the hunt for a toaster to toast your morning bagels because you just can't live without the added crispness of a toasted bagel, boy have I found the machine that will do the trick. 

There are toasters now with extra-wide slots for just this purpose.  Who knew? 

I have apparently not been paying enough attention to the recent developments on the toasting front. 

I saw a 4 slice toaster with extra wide slots that would be perfect for bagels.  It had features such as special toaster settings specifically for bagels. 

You can enjoy perfectly toasted morning bagels at home now thanks to the continued research and development departments within the toaster industry.  It's amazing how far we've come!

Find your bagel-ready toasting machine here.

I  saw the greatest invention of all time - a Conveyor Bagel Toaster.  Oh, yeah.  Does it get any better than throwing bagel after bagel on the top conveyor and having them spit out on the bottom all toasty brown and ready for cream cheese? 

Every hotel on the planet should have a conveyor bagel toaster if they serve a continental breakfast buffet.

Nothing is worse than standing in line, half awake, and impatiently waiting for the bagel to pop out of a two slot bagel toaster.  Shoot me now before I strangle the guy in front of me who got his bagel stuck in the only toaster available in the breakfast dining area.

Hotel managers please take note and order a conveyor bagel toaster.  Your guests will be forever grateful.