Two-Slice Toaster

"In 1970 the Toaster was the number one wedding gift for brides and grooms. Today it remains high on the list of priorities for newly married couples, as about 99% of couples put their desire for a Toaster on their bridal registry,"  according to local sources at Target Stores, Inc.

Teila my next door neighbor came over this morning with tears running down her face.  You see, all my neighbors know they can count on me for sound advice in a crisis.

And, boy -- a crisis it was! 

Teila said, "My Toaster died sometime between 7:00 a.m. yesterday and 7:12 a.m. this morning. I don't know what I am going to do."

She sobbed, "Bob and I got five Toasters when we got married in 1970 and that Toaster was the last surviving one of the five."  The hurt in her voice was deep.

I felt her pain!

She went on to explain that she had tried every survival technique she knew, including turning the Toaster upside down and shaking it vigorously while pounding it with her fist. She then plugged it in, but it declined to heat up, no matter which outlet she tried.

She said, "I'm pretty sure it is deceased."

As I know how much this hurts when the toaster who has been through the ups and downs of your daily life with you for decades, finally needs to be put to rest.  It doesn't matter if it's a two-slice toaster or a four-slice toaster; the hurt is the same.

I gave her a proper small appliance cover for it's burial.  They need to be buried immediately, so we took it to it to it's final resting place…

To cheer her up after the service, I brought her in to look at my special high-tech toasters, hoping to inspire a new beginning.

I showed her my best bagel toaster, my smart die cast Toaster, and even my "Cool Touch" toaster oven.

This seemed to cheer her up.  She asked me for my advice as to next steps through this difficult time.

I looked her straight in the eye and said,

"Teila your toaster is gone.  Times are tough.  Your only choice -- go get married AGAIN!"